Why Does God Care Who I Sleep With
Why Does God Care Who I Sleep With?
By Sam Allberry (Good Book Company, 2020)
Is sex really just for marriage? Aren’t Christians just a bunch of prudish rule enforcers? Why shouldn’t I find happiness and fulfilment? This book is a defense of the Christian understanding of sexuality, and tackles questions like these head-on. It is all the things I would look for in a book on this subject: biblical, pastoral, gracious, relevant & thoughtfully presented. In his words:
“There are significant challenges for Christians in discussions about sex. More and more, sexual freedom is regarded as one of the greatest goods in Western society. A huge amount has changed over the past decade or so. Just fifteen years ago Christians like me, who follow the teaching of the Bible, would have been thought of as old-fashioned for holding to the traditional Christian understanding of sex being exclusively for marriage. But now, increasingly, we are thought of as being dangerous to society. Our views on sex have become that significant. Who we sleep with is seen as a supreme human right. Anything that seems to constrain our choice in this area is somehow viewed as an existential threat.”
The book includes commentary on our cultural blind-spots, helping to undermine the contemporary sexual ethic where supposedly ‘anything goes.’ The fact is, he states, that “all of us believe in some form of sexual restriction. Even the most dedicated proponents of sexual freedom acknowledge that some boundaries are necessary.” The #MeToo movement shows that we need to better define and enforce boundaries, with the understanding that “not every desire is equally healthy, noble or right.” We need outside help – and that help exists!
Allberry’s use of scripture is extremely valuable, with a great depth of application and relevance (i.e. the woman at the well & the horrendous story of Amnon & Tamar). He puts forth compelling reasons to look again and to look further at the Christian viewpoint (what Jesus says about it) that simply “isn’t going away, however much it is derided today.”
We are all broken in need of forgiveness and restoration in the area of sexuality. This is where the gospel speaks cogently and powerfully to our fallen human nature, our selfish hearts and our fractured human relationships. The upshot of the author’s argument is this: “God cares who we sleep with because he cares deeply about the people who are doing the sleeping. He cares because sex was his idea, not ours. He cares because misusing sex can cause profound hurt and damage. He cares because he regards us as worthy of his care.”
– Andy Buchan, May 2020.
