Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:17-21)
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)
Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. (Matthew 5:23-24)
Conflict and disagreement will always be something we have to deal with in the church community because Christians are simply fallen, imperfect people under the process of renovation through God’s saving grace. From the passages above, dealing with our conflicts is vital in our ongoing relationship with God and demonstrates the genuineness of our faith. Being a forgiven person should have a profound effect on how we deal with those who hurt us or disappoint us. Our secretly held grudges, our open hostilities, our gossip and backstabbing will cause harmful divisions and unhappiness within the church and must be dealt with if we are to be a healthy community.
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Heb 12:15)
When it comes to how we approach conflict with each other, Jesus has provided us with clear guidelines to follow. The process gradually moves from private to public if the matter is not resolved easily. The potential end point of the process shows just how import repentance and reconciliation is in the eyes of Jesus.
If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
(Matthew 18:15-17)
While this is our basic blueprint for conflict it is not exhaustive for every situation. Where there is a power imbalance between parties it may be important to consider a variation of the process while maintaining the heart of the principles taught by Jesus. For example, matters of domestic violence and sex abuse are criminal acts which are beyond the typical everyday conflicts we normally deal with. Therefore, they should be handled with great care and wisdom. The one claiming to be the victim needs to be kept safe as possible, physically and emotionally. The General Assembly of Australia’s Code of Discipline recognises it is wrong to force a victim of abuse to have a private one-on-one meeting with the abuser. For these issues of domestic violence, sex abuse, and bullying, go to the Safe Church links below.
PRACTICAL GUIDELINES – CLICK HERE
